Question:Hello my dears!
I have a question. When our son died in the 15SWW, he still had no name. Although we already had a name (Connor), but my husband was not so enthusiastic and I was not one hundred percent convinced. Ever since he died, we have been wondering again and again whether this name is actually his or if we can give it to our next child. I am 7 + 1 now and of course it can also be a girl, besides, there is still time, but I would still be interested in how you see it. When I think of my star son, he is not "Connor", he is "my star", "my baby", "my 4th son" etc. But somehow the name was already in the room. I hope you understand what I mean? Will I take away his name? How do you feel or do you do that? I think several of you will have shortlisted before you lost your baby. Are these names for your successor in question or are they now your asterisk?
I'm not sure why it's been so busy for months, but it does. Of course you could just say "take another name, problem solved" and we'll probably do it, but I'm still very interested in your opinion. Somehow I would have liked to have a son with the name, but of course not with a negative connotation ...
- reply - 1: Dear Elisabeth,
I was never so far with the lost babies that we knew the gender, but I still write what I think of your thoughts.
I believe that for your child, if it should become a Connor, it can be much more emotionally problematic than for you parents. If he felt he was a substitute for the lost, then I imagine he would hate his name. If you explain it the way that you really wanted a Connor and the lost baby did not want the name, it could be that he really feels wanted. But if he had problems in everyday life, he might also think "my brother did it right, not to take the name."
As the name implies, they can be blessings or hell for one.
Personally, I would try to choose a new one. However, I'm already thinking about possible names for a next child. I think the name of our daughter is so incredibly beautiful and extraordinary, which I would like to have for more offspring. So far, nothing similar has happened to me. And he has yet to meet other criteria. And if a name "only" belongs to an embryo, but not yet to a baby who fulfills everything, then I would keep him in the selection.
But the term "selection" is relative to us. We learned in SSW15 that we are expecting a girl and two days later the name was fixed.
Happy discussion and especially a successful and beautiful ball time wishes you
- reply - 2: many many for your answer and your new suggestion. So far, I have not even come to the point that it could be a problem for the child if it would learn that the name was actually intended for someone else. I have to think about that for now ...
- reply - 3: I have already thought about it. There was no name for our baby, so I would not be in the situation. I think if you do not associate your asterisk with the name, it's okay to take it in. We also thought about names last time, but they did not belong directly to my star. So they are floating in the room for the next time.
- reply - 4: Our son got the name our 2 stars (9th SSW) would have got. At least that was already our favorite at that time and we liked no name better. It does not have a bland aftertaste for us either, because we did not know the gender both times and it is for us also "starlets" and "crumbs".