What to do if the partner is jealous of the baby? | Babies | metrobabyblog.com

What to do if the partner is jealous of the baby?

Many fathers feel, after birth, how their relationship is changing. It is not uncommon for them to brood and become jealous of the helpless baby because it seems to absorb all the love of the partner. The jealousy about the relationship between mother and baby can be very strong especially when the new earthlings are breastfed.

Basically, jealousy of such a new, close relationship is an understandable reaction, but what matters is how you, as a father and as a mother, handle that feeling.

The first question you should ask yourself is: what exactly does jealousy cause? Is it the partner, because she now builds a close relationship with the baby and spends a lot of time with him? Or is it the baby who now wants to find a place between you and your partner and currently receives more attention than the dad? Do you feel as a father reset? It is not unlikely that your feelings are a mixture of both.

Here are a few tips on how to resolve the situation before it becomes a real relationship problem.

Talk to each other
Does this feeling of jealousy overwhelm you? Then you have to communicate your feelings and concerns to your partner. If you can, talk to them directly. No matter if you need more attention, understanding and support or just want to spend more time with your partner - without a baby. Tell her frankly and honestly how you feel.

That's certainly not easy. After all, you want to support your partner in her inexperienced role as a mother and not actually burden her with her problems now. You are probably worried that she thinks: But he is sensitive - or: He only thinks of himself.

If you do not feel strong enough to talk about it with your partner, first tell a good friend about your problem. Sometimes it is helpful to talk about something with an uninvolved person. The problem becomes clearer and you can then better reveal this feeling to your partner.

Maybe you can talk to friends who have already had this experience. How did you experience the time immediately after the birth of your children? Maybe they can give you valuable tips or reassure you - that everything will get better when the routine returns. In the event that you can not trust your partner or present these problems to a good friend, you still have the opportunity to work with a professional therapist or self-help group to deal with this issue.
The worst - and most dangerous - is when you ignore your jealousy. This just makes you feel annoyed and ill-tempered towards your partner and baby. This will ultimately alienate you from your young family.

Become active yourself
In addition to speaking with your partner, there are other practical things you can do. Build your own relationship with your baby. Do things with your baby that gets in touch with you. Something like bathing, petting, massaging, playing, putting to bed and changing diapers. You can also give your baby the bottle when her partner has pumped milk.

These and other activities, such as shopping or walking with baby slings, will help deepen your relationship with your baby. Completely independent of your partner.

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