Hmm .... financial hole !! :-( | Community |

Hmm .... financial hole !! :-(


Hi guys,

Need NEN important advice and also wanted to ask, if some of you are so synonymous!?!?!

I have somehow messed up my life so far to create a high edge and I just lived my life from hand to mouth !! Now I'm pretty bad there !!

The expectant father and I have been living together for over a year in our first shared apartment and he just had parents and family who have always looked to save ... when he grew up, he just took it over and got it now actually really good money !!
Unfortunately, we come from completely different worlds !!
Sorry, if this sounds too obvious for you, but apart from him I have never had anything steady in life ... I come from the street and have NO ONE standing behind me !!

I have debts up to the ass, which I have already paid back diligently .... but unfortunately not everything!
And as a waitress with his meager hourly wages but good tips I could always get a good life and finally get everything under control but now I was always on sick leave and I'm standing in front of the BV ... that just rips a huge hole in my wallet! !

Well now I feel really lousy, because my friend and I have always cut our costs in half and at the moment I really doubt if I can give my already beloved crumbs what it needs ... and if I make a right decision met !!

Can I afford my baby at all?!?! - this question has robbed me of sleep since days !!

Sorry for the much too long text!


  • reply - 1: I also have more hole than mountain in the purse, but somehow it always works.

    We also have to pay one or the other and I'm now a student and we have to see where we stay, only I mean that children do not need every expensive frills, most important is love.

    And now be honest: with a child, it's going to be pretty hard to cut everything in half and you've made the kid together, so you definitely are not alone!
    I do not know halve it and share everything financially and and. With us it always did not matter who paid what, the main thing it was purchased.
    And if you have a child together, you have in my opinion made a decision for life to spend this together and thus, why still shared cash ???

    As I said, that's our way of handling our relationship, of course, everyone else is different.

    But maybe you should clarify how Uhr want to shape your relationship in the future, because when a child comes, so usually one to the main earner and there is half-hard usually hard. If you have clarified this with your Partnet, you may also be bothered by a few of the burdening ones.

    And your friend surely knows your financial problems ... I hope your maternity money probably. Reasonably enough for debt repayment if you are uncomfortable and do not want your husband to pay for your debts, which of course is perfectly understandable.

  • reply - 2: Oje Lenaxi.
    Had to pay my car even before my ss.
    Thank God I was able to do that until the day before.
    The thought alone made me sleepless.
    Can you understand that - a bad feeling to know that you have to pay something off.
    And now you also need 10,000 things ..... even if you buy cheap.
    Small cattle are also crap.
    Say what does your sweetheart say?
    Can not he help you?
    My friend is self-employed - had a lot of expenses in the last year.
    Advertising etc.
    So he could hardly save anything.
    Have now but since I get along well with my money but still can save a few euros together for nursery and Co.
    Of course, my sweetheart as well as me would prefer 50/50.
    But right now that does not work and that's why I'm just laying out.
    Our baby was a nice kid.
    Of course, my friend would have waited a bit financially.
    But I just did not want to postpone our request for a few euros.
    At a set table, no child has starved yet. I said I can do it and it works fine too.
    You can learn to renounce and think again other times in which he pays and not me. ;)
    Maybe your sweetheart would do it for you now. After all, you will become a family now. And can understand a "stupid" feeling when one of two now pays more. But think is worse in love than money problem.
    Maybe you can even look for a conversation and ask for help.
    LG and head up. Together you will surely find a solution.
  • reply - 3: So even in the bv you get paid his wages on. I was also from the 4th Month at home and had a bv.

    If there baby is there you get child support and parental allowance. So I have to say I get the child benefit very well. I buy about 3-4 packln diapers a month.
    4 packln of milk, wet wipes.

    I do everything myself and fruit and Beikost. Everyone has potatoes and carrots at home.

    Well and what so apartment and so far has just stop the partner contribute a lot. That's what life is like when you have a baby

    With us there is no money your money

    It is our money and of it we pay all bills rent per month etc

    Hmm Start now and put at least 10 € a month on the page

    This is not much but better than nothing

    Toi toi toi I keep my fingers crossed

  • reply - 4: @ Mojo yeah she gets her basic salary in the bv but then there's a lot of tips in her case: /
  • reply - 5: Sure a child tears a hole in the household budget. That's why I always wonder when I read here that you buy a stroller for a thousand euros or nursery for one and a half to two thousand euros or baby monitors for several hundred euros.

    I will buy a Singlar baby bed from IKEA for 29 €, the clothes will come in an already existing Malm chest of drawers, on which I will assemble a self-made changing mat. In addition, I've already bought an IKEA shelf for 10 € recently where toys and the like. pure can. In addition then small stuff (lamps, possibly a colorful carpet) also from IKEA. I would be surprised if at the end more than 200 € come together.

    Clothes, baby carriages, infant carriers, etc., we get from my sister or partly from the neighbors (Babyfon) and I also want to go to flea markets, because you can always find great things for little money (my sister has' nen trip -Trap chair found for 15 €). You do not have to spend a lot of money - the baby does not care.

    Talk to your friend and clear up the matter before it drives you crazy. And, as I said, try to shop as cheaply as possible, because that's how you show him that you're responsible. Ask friends and neighbors if they have anything left to give-many are looking forward to sharing it with others.

    In terms of income: I think it does not matter how much there was before - if only one person earns it, it is always noticeable.

  • reply - 6: Well, he already lent me money from which I have paid debts and also the home furnishings (which I did not bring) he has interpreted!
    The 50/50 situation was actually always relatively important, because he has always lived well and has always saved and he ALWAYS had and will have more than me ... I did not want to put him on the bag !!

    So far we have not even bought anything for the baby except the music box !!
    Clothes, tub and cradle we got from my newly dad best friend !!
    Of course we have to and will buy cheap !!

    What worries me most at the moment is just the rent !!
    We have rent / electricity / internet / both phones fixed costs of 1100 euros
    He pays for everything and I always transfer half of it .... then come to food we buy for a month always about the 120 euros at Aldi ... Hygienesachen buy and I always pay at the dm (something he can not )

    All in all makes 610 euros + 30 euros dm for me - - - 640 euros

    I only get 800 Euro salary at the moment ...
    Stay with me. 160 euros to save for the baby, to pay my debts and to have something of life !!

    I've already thought to apply for housing allowance, which will take over part of my rental half, but he deserves it too well !!

  • reply - 7: Hello
    When I got my first child, I was also a student and my husband (shortly before the state exam) we also had not much money, but we did not need that ...
    I breastfed, there was free food for the baby in the first 6months and when the diet started, it was not a hassle because I, as a forerunner, also cooked myself.
    Clothes, toys and accessories are cheap on children's junk. There I have a hardly used Babybay cot for 30 € and a Stokke Triptrap for 25 €. I had exchanged many clothes for the small with girlfriends or borrowed and we also have no stroller, until now all my children were worn until they were 1.5 years and then transported to a buggy or on the bike :)

    It works really well without a lot of money ... I believe it becomes more difficult when they get to school and later at puberty ... because of the branded items. Therefore, I think the proposal with the 10 € per month is great, because you can save at least a small reserve ...

  • reply - 8: @Lenaxi if he has more in this situation and you get now n baby then he should pay just nen hunni more. Explain to him your situation and your worries. If he loves you, he will do it!
    He also has to renounce - you get TOGETHER a baby.
    Does he have to think about it now?
    He knows you, your situation and he knew that even before the baby.
    Then he would have to find one with more coal if that's the problem.
    As I said, I currently also pay more than my friend.
    I will also pay for the children's room. But that's just the way we knew it in front of the baby.
    We love each other and that counts.
    As I said, other times come.
    For me alone, I have sometimes done n coat for 600 euros. Now it is just one for 60 - n hair shampoo I came under 11 euros not in the house now tuts one for 3 euros too. Because I'm not alone anymore. Habs me so chosen and right now it is exactly the same!
    And is ok. Still good enough.
    Just talk to him.
    My darling sometimes feels a bit "embarrassed" - but these worries can take him back pretty quickly. It's not just about the money.
    And if one still has enough - it's great! Better like no one.
  • reply - 9: I think the suggestions are good too. If it's short of money, buy cheap, save z.b. with the mobile phone (do you need a smartphone?) or just with cosmetics and clothes (many shampoos, shower gel etc are also good from No Name manufacturers, C & A also has reasonable clothes ...) You may also try with your creditors better conditions (eg lower rates) to act out. And to what extent you have the right to support, you can find out at the relevant offices.

  • reply - 10: Although we (my friend and I) have well-paid jobs, yesterday we could not afford the great complete children's room in the furniture store! But what does that interest, the child ????? NOT AT ALL! The little ones are totally WASHING what the bed has cost! Of course a child will not be full of air and love, but that needs to survive .. Do not worry so much ..

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