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anger or aggression against twins



Question:

I've been thinking for a long time about whether to write this or not and since today or just such an exceptional situation was I think it's better.
When I found out that I was pregnant with twins, I was afraid that I would not be able to do all of this and thus my best situation.
If, for example, both screaming as grade and they should actually make their afternoon nap auxh already tired are tired.sie just started to scream has made him with waxh. I tried to calm her .... as soon as I put her back she caught again on ... he is the same with both.
At some point then fuse ne durch.ich then say things like now finally stop the mouth or take them very unsantt shake them fast.ich I know that they are so restless noxh but as I said fuse burns through.ixh ashamed me so rough. was already at the youth office and go to Psychologen.ich hate me and my mind gedankwn of the life take over babys weg gebeb to self hatred .... I hate me sooo abysm deep for this anti-social behavior. I love the two idolatrous and do not understand why I omit my inability to them ... so no matter what intensity is so about 14 daily vor.mal 1monat not even 1mal.in three weeks.seit the psychologist is better but as just noted not gone.
Is it similar to anyone, so you stay calm?
What can you do in such situations?
Going out of the room does not help.
Am so stupid shit and desperately sad ubd angry on micj !!!!

Reply:

  • reply - 1: Oh unplugged, I know such situations too. It is with me the fierce rage over my powerlessness and I have to tear then really on the belt, that the two (and my big) do not get it. I've talked to my therapist about it, it's been getting better, I'm working to change my attitude towards myself and my abilities or achievements. Nevertheless, I come again and again in such situations, which blow me the backups.
    Please speak with your psychologist (therapist?) How to deal better with such situations. If you do not feel that he can help you, think about a change. I am in therapy with a woman who has 3 children. I think a man could not tell me anything!
    I would rather keep the youth welfare office out, I think.
    Do something good for yourself, it helps to get into a more positive mode.
    Heads up! Greetings, Eva
  • reply - 2: I'm shocked to read something like that ... where is your maternal love? ...
    You have to stay calm ... if you react aggressively or stressed then it will affect your kids!
    How about if you separate the two; at least when sleeping ??
    I can understand that you are overwhelmed, but you are a mom and when I read something I get scared for your kids ...
    I'm sorry if that sounds hard, but I think you should pull the emergency brake very fast !!!!
  • reply - 3: What I should say first of all: You are guaranteed not incompetent! On the contrary, you are doing a great job day after day, looking at your children, they are healthy and happy (all children of all parents have bad days!), There is nothing better for them than you! And raising twins is an incredible achievement, make you aware of that!
    Greetings again!
  • reply - 4: yes here we have situations where both are screaming, I'm almost crazy. every mother knows such situations and we still have the double ...
    but seriously. I think it's brave of you that you write your frustration of the soul and hope that you really get help very quickly, of course you love your two dwarfs, they have grown in you and it's your children. but that's why you have to master yourself.
    kilian hatz again just a phase which is really very nerve-wracking and I can go crazy several times a day and I am also animal annoyed and just k.o. my husband eat the mournful but auich that will hopefully someday improve again.
    get help as much as you can, please do the favor!
    I must confess that I am also afraid ... for your children
    I am so sorry to write something but then I always have bad pictures in my head and I know how to say what that is when 2 roar; (
  • reply - 5: I can absolutely understand it is when you lose your nerve and I have only one .. This has nothing to do with lack of love or bad mother and I do not think that anyone can judge who has no child. Find it great that you talk about it and get you help. It is always talked about everything in pink colors but it is not all pink.
  • reply - 6: Hey,

    I think that's the same for all of us. Grade us twin moms ... I also have a third big daughter and I am also often on the head.
    My two Minis make their afternoon nap, for example, because they also wake each other. At night it works funny way always great.
    But it's not just sleeping ...
    Can not you give her to grandma from time to time? Or with a girlfriend?

    Lg stup

  • reply - 7: Oh human unplugged, not nice to read something like that. Thought you are slowly running better because the "all crap" thread was left idle for so long ...
    But first something else. Kudos to the members of this group that they do not all hack on you like the crows and show understanding. In other clubs, you would already be alone for the testimony that you let his child scream for 5 minutes, mauled.
    Nu back to you. Also, I respect that you write so openly. Your two are grade times 3-4 weeks younger than mine and I can say that, the last few weeks were no picnic with me. I think it could be up to you the 26th week jump. Even if the felt eternity lasts, please hold through. And as others have already written, let them sleep separately when they wake each other up. And above all, try not to force anything. For a while I got over it, too, when I wanted to make her go to sleep with all the power, but they disagreed. I gave it up.
    Now they say, as soon as they rub their eyes or after noon, off to bed. If both fall asleep is good, if not, I get out the screaming after 5 minutes and then he comes into the bedroom. And then I let them roar too. These moments are tough and you have to be well distracted. Put on your headphones or go out and breathe. If then after 10 minutes still action is I'll just bring her back down to the playground and try after 30 minutes again my luck. But enforcing does not help. The mice notice that.
    What about KiWa? Since both of you sleep well in there. If you make a straight turn after noon, is that possible? The fresh air is good for everyone. The temperatures are going back slowly.
    Or are you just teething? With me then one or the other fever suppositories helped. Is also against pain, if they roar so.
    Otherwise, please tell me what you do when you put them down. My doll basically only sleeps with a bottle of pork. (I know, you should not do it, but shit does not matter, it helps) Clamp her then always with a cuddly toy and then she can suckle tired. He gets NEN schnulli, but needs a nappy over his face to hide.
    You can not think of any more, except please, hold on. We've all told you so many times that you're not a bad mom. The two had a serious start and you have pulled through the pumping despite all the good advice. You are not a bad mother. Let that be said !!!
    Feel like you are pressed.
  • reply - 8: Oh, well, what I could still offer you, since you know, as far as I know, that I live in Buch, that when I get my two sold for a few hours, I'll come and visit. Although not a super mom, but maybe helps son view from the outside with advice from practice. Imagine that I have at least more experience with twins than your therapist.
  • reply - 9: Hello dear ones,

    Great LIKE for your post gum. That's exactly how I see it. Single mothers also have stress, only we have duplicate and thus different stress. We have to get 2 screaming kids under control at once. And only twin mothers can understand that correctly. And each of us has such a phase and that's why we're not bad mothers. We stand by our mistakes and that is worth a lot !!!

    I also had such phases and then went out and smoked myself or just screamed so. That helped. > Once I made an SOS call to my mom and after 10 minutes she was there and I felt better.
    My two could not sleep together all the time. Since the little boy has always slept in bed with us.
    I, too, have relinquished it to force something. Of course sometimes it's hard to be calm. But it's better to take it easy than to force it. Because then it absolutely does not work and you are becoming more and more depressed or aggressive. If your husband is there, go outside. To sports or running, or meet with friends. An hour is like a vacation. I notice that again and again and then you see everything with different eyes and are fit for the next stage. You just have to give more tasks to your husband or get your girlfriend or your mom, mother in law to help you, then you're better. Or you're thinking about looking for a day mother, where you can take the couple for a few hours to do something different. And if only to clean. That's why you're not a bad mom.
    Take rubber offerings or find another Twin Mum / ZWillingsmama group in your area to share with. I met my best friend by chance last year on the internet and she does not live far away. I do not want to miss her anymore. She understands and always has an open ear. , This is a must for us twin mums, because that's the only way we can learn.

    So I keep my fingers crossed that it will soon be better. And hug you

  • reply - 10: Unplugged, I think it's really brave of you to speak so openly about how overwhelmed you sometimes feel. I'm just beginning to realize what it means to have twins u have to say in the short time I had already 1 or 2 moments where I thought: you'll never manage that ... !!!! But today, for example, was a good day, did everything, each fed u wrapped and cuddled. With you there are certainly many good days and they should show you that you can do it all but u are a good mom. I think you're asking too much about yourself. Do it really like rubber writes: if it's really too much, let them scream, go out, just a few minutes, vll have a coffee u come down. Then you can continue with a cooler head. That you are angry, if it does not go according to plan at all, is also ok. Just try to stay calm. I would like to come over and u press you hard. I think it's great of you to be with the therapist. Vll you can organize a babysitter who comes 2 times a week for 3 hours. Then you have time for you again u can then continue relaxed with the sweet ??
    Oh you, feel really tight! I know you can do it!

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