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Everything about the partner



Question:

Here we can puke, rejoice or share experiences.

Everything about your relationship / love / sex and caresses is on your mind here

Reply:

  • reply - 1: leave from partner :(

    NinaA1
    29.06.14
    Hello Mum's ...
    Yesterday I was left by my partner, with the reason
    "He's tired of me because of my moods"
    On top of that, he made the suggestion that I should abort better ... to make life even more difficult for us !! It was a wishful child !!!
    Has the NEN bang ??
    Am devastated, can not think clearly, I'm just crying ...
    Has anyone experienced the same or is currently in such a situation?


    Bibiana0806
    29.06.14
    You can do it alone !!! What is the request for a guy who advises you to have an abortion? Be glad that you are rid of him! Of course one wishes for the small intact family, but not with one! You do not even say that out of the affect.
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    NinaA1
    29.06.14
    I hope I can do it ...
    I feel so empty: (
    Can not believe that ..
    Report an error Delete answer

    funker girl
    29.06.14
    Did he mean it really seriously or could it have just been a reaction in the affect? Maybe you just talk in peace again. Pregnancy hormones can really put such a relationship to the test. Clear the statement with the abortion is not. But maybe it was more of a kind of helplessness?
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    Eliza0112
    29.06.14
    Hello Nina,
    Feel first pressed. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this right now. Can completely understand that you are now completely violent and hurt. I'm really speechless to read that. Can Bibiana only agree, "you really do not need such a one." Personally, I think there is no excuse for that. Of course, every man deals with the situation differently and for many it is new territory and certainly a special challenge, but that really does not work. You poor. I'm sure you can do it, but still I feel with you. Wish you all the best.
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    Ginchen10
    29.06.14
    Hello nina ... first I'm sorry. With me also dee same mist ... every week new separation then again not ... he is genevt because I only see negative ... and he has moved to his mother and gestwen I've finally said ciao bella .. ,
    be strong in the beginning this is really hard .. but ee will regret it someday ... how old do you swit?
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    Dandeelia
    29.06.14
    Boah hard!
    I sent my 3 weeks ago in the desert and made a positive test 3 days later.
    His reaction the same, "let abort"
    I am also moody, but most of the time it was also his turn that he is super self-centered, oh what am I talking .... Typical man just! Not all of them are like that, but most!
    Do you have family / friends who support you?
    let him go
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    Ginchen10
    29.06.14
    Dandeelia every man is like that! Dss is me right Schweinerei I was in the kh with heavy bleeding umd my rather went to football training than to stay with me
    Report an error Delete answer

    funker girl
    30.06.14
    No Ginchen10 my sweetheart is e.g. not so. And I assume that there are no working relationships and marriages, if your statement would be correct. But they still exist.
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    221212
    30.06.14
    That was exactly the same for my first ss (but not planned), but then he calmed down after two months. Maybe the whole change will scare him and that's a short-circuit reaction and he'll get back. You can do it no matter how it gets along! Wish you all the best
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    Eliza0112
    30.06.14
    So I do not think all men are like that. Of course there are some special copies, but I would not generalize that.

  • reply - 2:
    Ginchen10
    30.06.14
    I'm not so sure ... so nina head up ... you have to tell yourself that all this has no sense!
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    Pinguinmaedchen
    30.06.14
    Nina keeps your fingers crossed that he calms down. If that's the case you might want to give it a try again.
    You had a relationship before in the even a child wish came up.

    Yesterday myself realized that I was really nasty to my friend. And I apologized for that. He says I've been like this for a while.
    Sometimes you should talk to each other. That helps.
    Ginchen just because you have had bad experiences means that not all of them are like that.
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    Ginchen10
    30.06.14
    Penguin girl


    I also said that most are ao! It always depends on the age and character ... only if I can say from my experience, we will not change he will apologize at some point then that goes well for a few days and then it goes wiedee bad .. believe me, on any case was it with me so ...and I learned from it. Because it hurt again and again you could avoid it better.
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    Dandeelia
    30.06.14
    Also think that there are still nice guys. Unfortunately, I always put on the wrong ones. Have virtually an asshole magnet.
    Although I'm not the woman for the hypocritical picture book family so with station wagon and row house ...
    I have a good job and can provide my children without a husband. I am also fortunate to be supported by my family. That's a good condition.
    Nevertheless, one longs for a complete family
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    Ginchen10
    30.06.14
    Dandeelia

    you're right . You would do it all on your own but you would like to spend it all with a lovely guy. I do not know sometimes I think I'm to blame because I ask too much. Then I talk to my girlfriends and they confirm that I did not do anything wrong
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    NinaA1
    30.06.14
    Thank you, dear ..
    Report an error Delete answer

    ellevis
    30.06.14
    Hey Nina that's really a hard number. I'm pregnant and not a daisy and my friend has always addressed that - but understanding. If yours was not able to do so even if you wanted to have a baby (take into account the special conditions for you as well) then maybe that's the better way. I wish you all the strength you need and hope that you will find the right child with the right one who takes you as you are - even in special phases and then strong for you / you is when you need it!
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    Annukrümel
    30.06.14
    Decide for the baby and shit on the guy. He really is not worth it.
    What an ass !!!
    Am stunned.
    I wish you a lot of strength that you will not let the guy in anymore.
    Report an error Delete answer

    Flogge
    30.06.14
    Yeah, lick what's all of you all have for men?
    Was all of them shit in the brain?
    Do not you like the guys, nobody deserves that.


    Report an error Delete answer

    evchen3
    30.06.14
    So he does not seem to be mature.
    Be sure to take care of yourself and do what's good for you

  • reply - 3:
    Sanj
    30.06.14
    Oh Nina,

    Are you depressed.
    That's a sad situation.
    But I think if a man really manages to say such a terrible thing, something is wrong with him !!!
    After all, you expect a child that grows up in you so slowly :) that's such a miracle!
    Do not grieve him if he does not appreciate something.
    I hope and wish that you will be happy. With your little family :)
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    jayjay0413
    30.06.14
    Dear Nina, luckily you do not need a husband to raise a child. Look forward to your baby, that's the most important thing. Of course, even if a breakup is not beautiful and, above all, painful, the SS is a time when you can focus on the happiness in your custom. Do something good, meet with friends and do not let the guy finish you. If the relationship does not survive the first few weeks of an SS, it always raises the question of how resilient it is when it really matters. Are you depressed.
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    Monty2505
    30.06.14
    First of all, not all men are like that ... and I do not think anybody will be like that overnight ... there must have been signs before!
    And: I am very much of the opinion that a child needs father and mother !!!
    Report an error Delete answer

    Flogge
    08.07.14
    For a man it is hald also a mad change, finally, he must then a family 'nourish', but just in the pregnancy, the men are quite sensitive and clear when you just rumzickt as a woman and is bad mood (what the dear men yes eh not endure) the hald is simply bad for the relationship.
    I am glad that I blossomed completely through my pregnancy.
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    Liddie
    30.06.14
    Hello my husband was rubbing off in the beginning and he makes a conclusion at the end he has talked to a man who is already a father and then calmed down. He has had such a existential fear and has always made it until he has gotten himself as said .. now everything is supi. Head up my sister also had such an idiot and has managed to raise her child alone he will soon be 2 so you can do everything if you want it
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    mihro
    30.06.14
    Nina I hope for your family happiness and for your baby that everything settles down again.
    Sometimes you say things you do not mean. Hope he had. Just a small dropout. Would not judge him like most people do here. We would have to know much more about that.
    All the best to you!
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    iloveu
    30.06.14
    I give it right! If the family happiness is at stake I would not be so quick to pass the verdict and lock all doors. Clearly he owe you a big excuse but in the dispute most have already said something and later regretted. Pregnancy is a state of emergency and in the first SS, I was glad that we could look back on a few years of stable marriage. A "fresh" partner would certainly not endure the hormone-driven fury I was.
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    NinaA1
    30.06.14
    I have today called on a counseling center ... I will inform me ..die have offered me a couple counseling .. don't think he wants to participate in it ... he will say .. he has no time, he has to work 100%
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    Sandi86
    30.06.14
    Hey Nina,
    Is really a shit ... situation. I can understand if you do not want to see him anymore because he hurt you so much with his words and his deed ...

    It is almost inexcusable ...

    That's how I could understand when the waves have smoothed and some time has passed and he understood what he has on you and what responsibility means you would re-engage each other again.

    After all, it's about you, do not let yourself be pushed into any grid, do what's good for you, process what happens, only then can you really get involved in your future, whether with or without a partner.

    Remember, if you're alright, your baby is fine too.

    I wish you a lot of strength and all the best, especially for your pregnancy
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    jayjay0413
    30.06.14
    Monty, I also mean that a child needs a father. But if he does not want to go without it. My mother was a single parent with me. No walk, but certainly better than with a partner who does not want to be there.

  • reply - 4: Buga11
    30.06.14
    Nina I do not know unfortunately we were on it in pregnancy but I sometimes realize myself that I can be really bitchy ... clearly that's the pregnancy hormones ..
    But you are allowed to understand your panther somewhere that he does not feel like always having this "other woman" with him who is suddenly so changed because she is pregnant. You always have to show him that you love him too and you are grateful for that he is the father of your child .. because if you're just kidding and just baby baby baby ...
    Does he even think she just wanted a child and now I'm worth the shit ...
    It may also be that he is pregnant with you ..
    That he just takes time to get along .. because say that you want a baby as a man is easy but if the child is in the stomach then the men notice only oh I will dad ..
    I would like to put your heart to it .. try to get out what it oppresses .. I wish you good luck ... :))
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    B1anca
    30.06.14
    Hi Nina, I'm sorry, in what kind of situation you are currently. I hope your friend helps and talks to you.

    A pregnancy and the time afterwards is a huge stress test for the relationship, for each individually but also for both together.

    Clarify for you the question of whether you want to be together or not. And then stand by your word. You now need both dependable sizes at your side and not someone who buckles with every resistance. Relationship doubt and back and forth in pregnancy is just extra stress,

    I keep my fingers crossed that you get your situation clarified.

    Sleepless greetings
    Bianca
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    Ginchen10
    30.06.14
    Is what everybody says here :) but believe me he will regret it sometime! I can promise you 100% and one more thing, you will stay with your mother the most important woman because you carry his baby in you. Hold that
    In front of you and you feel better
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    Hexenkind1
    30.06.14
    He is just overwhelmed with the situation, and if he really would love you he could endure it, I mean you do not do that with intention.
    And abortion is not a solution, the poor creature can not do anything for whom the parents argue, and it takes years long damage with it after the abortion.
    But who you first hold the little creature in the hand is forgotten all, and who is only for a moment :)
    So always think positive, that kst good for you and the child.
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    LittleJosi
    01.07.14
    Hello dear Nina, I am also in the same situation. I became unwanted pregnant and did not want to abort. His suggestion was that too. We're married and he's moved to mom now too. Leaves me completely in the balance as it goes on. He is a very selfish person and I am sitting here alone, done with the world. My psychological counselor advised me to give him an ultimatum for deciding whether to stay or not. Then he has to stay with a decision. If it makes sense, go to a couple counseling, marriage counseling from ProFamilia or from other organizations, such as the church. There you can also participate as a non-christian and do not have to pay anything.
    You can also get advice on your own, like me. Then you know how things will continue for you. I wish you lots of strengh!
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    NinaA1
    01.07.14
    Hello Littlejosi
    Yes it is really difficult .. have now got an appointment in the advice center .. would go there alone .. he is not interested anyway .. I now have the feeling that he has pushed everything to blame me .. I was not that bad ...
    If he lives with Mama again and now has good contact with his best friend, pc gambling is in the center of attention ... he makes party, I do not know !!!
    He got used to his old life again ...
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    Ginchen10
    02.07.14
    Yes nina ... there you see that is not ripe
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    NinaA1
    02.07.14
    Can you do nothing..I can do it alone ...
    Have received so much encouragement, what has built me ​​.. I hold on to that now ...
    EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE :)
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    funker girl
    02.07.14
    In any case. And soon you hold your greatest happiness in your arms. Believe me such a child gives a thousand times more than a partner. Even if I find it terribly sad, what happened there.

  • reply - 5: lemon biscuit
    02.07.14
    Well, I have an intact relationship. A partner who carries me on hands and everything would stand with me. But after the conversation with his father, he thought that I should abort and he wishes me to lose the child .... before he spoke very different .... I made him clear that I it can not and the relationships ended what he did not want ... because of sadness I talked to my father and he also said the way it is now he did not lie to you and there must be a lot of women through. I should not tie a rope around his neck now but let him just come to rest ... then we drove to my father over the weekend (Cologne-Hamburg)
    Habem really enjoyed the time and have also not talked about the pregnancy ... until the return trip where I then told him what I think of him and I'm so sure why we do it and what a great man at my side is ....
    Now it looks like he calms me down when I'm scared to lose the child again. I had also asked him if it is only due to the hormones that I am looking forward to the child, he said he did not talk but he is looking forward to it too :)

    I really believe my father was right.- many women have to go through because the men panic and if then negative influence comes to it is critical. .....

    TRY WITH HIM to talk to him, why the change of heart .... also blows a short trippy before .... and if he is honest is no executioner .... I know how hurtful such thoughts can be. Swallow it and wine somewhere else and thank you for the honesty.

    Heads up! And feel pressed ..
    Sorry write with a tablet and the keyboard does not do what I want =)


    lizbeth12345
    02.07.14
    He just is not right for you, I can understand your pain. And that does not work with abortion. That hurts really bad. But you have to try to forget him. I'm sure you can do it alone. You are pregnant and now you need your rest, stress during pregnancy is not good for your baby.


    Good luck and many greetings
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    Ginola
    08.07.14
    up-to-date for the moment ;-)
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    XmoniX
    08.07.14
    At my big one I split up shortly after birth (at 27 + 1), because I had enough to do with him then and then having someone at his side, where everything else was more important, was just a huge burden: / (have also set several ultimates for him)
    When my son was 14mon, I got to know my friend and now we expect child nr.3 :) so iwann comes the right one and will fully accept the already existing child and love;) clearly it hurts first, but when something comes, was not it right for you and your child ...
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    Dandeelia
    08.07.14
    Nice for you Flogge

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    Flogge
    08.07.14
    @Dandeelia
    Yes I think so too.
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  • reply - 6:
    mama150813
    09.07.14
    HEY, I'm desperate: / I'm in the 7 week pregnant has been confirmed by the doctor I have scho a child, the kl is now 11 months old nu has made the daddy of both mice from the field because I pushed him too much that he should look for work .... how should I do that with 2 little "babies" good the little one is already 1.5 years but still can not do it all alone: ​​(I do not know :(
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    XmoniX
    09.07.14
    You can manage that, do you have vlt family or friends who can support you a little? That have already done so many, that will work for you too;) otherwise you can get help at the youth welfare office (unfortunately only have a lot of fear, because the Youth Office rather something negative connect) there is nothing at ne help to get better than when the youth welfare office is finally at the door and the opinion is one would not make it and then counts even negative, if you need help and not requested;) So do not be afraid, ask there once and let you inform: )
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    mama150813
    09.07.14
    Yes family is fully behind me (luckily?) :) I'll tackle with the Youth Office once vllt can really help me :) THANK YOU :) :) :)
    Report an error Delete answer

    Sülf
    09.07.14
    Hello Nina,
    I was really shaken when I read it!
    it is incomprehensible! I too came into this mood phase, but my husband knew that it had to come sometime. he bravely keeps on and I spoil him for his way how he deals with it.
    It is important that you, even if it is certainly difficult, head down and it does not get you small. Your little miracle gets everything, so make the best of it (probably the separation was too). fight for you, your baby ... your little 2-person family.
    I wish you only the best!
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    Isabelle26
    09.07.14
    That this is really bad and you and the child is not doing well, should be clear.
    But maybe give him some time ... maybe a short-circuit reaction! We always have our hormones directly linked directly to our child in us, men do not have that ... and pregnant women can certainly be exhausting;)

    And if he does not come back, you too will have the strength to take care of your child! There is nothing more important than your child, especially no man!

    The man from whom I have my child has made two women pregnant at the same time! His girlfriend and then me. He also wanted to force me to have an abortion, but I did not think about it for a second.

  • reply - 7:
    SoniaMaunz
    09.07.14
    Hello, 8 years ago, I was in the same situation, I in the 6th week (unplanned) and the producer said, either I am aborting or I have to go! I was then gone! Have my big alone got big! Until she was 4 and met my husband! A daddy for her, because the producer has not seen her in 7 years and 2 months!

    You can do it alone! And even with a child you can eventually find the right one
    best regards
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    NinaA1
    09.07.14
    Thank you for the many constructive words :)
    So slowly I look positively into the future .. Do not leave me any other choice !!
    :***
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    Isabelle26
    09.07.14
    Nina, that's what my FA said:
    You have to think about you and your child now!

    Let him first, as hard as that is! Think of your child, that senses each of your emitions!
    And no man in the world is worth risking your child!

    Report an error Delete answer

    Margie2004
    09.07.14
    I'm so sorry for you, Nina. But your baby is the most important thing now: - ***
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    Paddy2
    09.07.14
    My husband also left me last Saturday
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    Liddie
    10.07.14
    oh man .. for me it is not so far but he threatens me as so to rely on me ... and that I have gotten through my little tummy what I got so thick and everything ... I do not know how for a long time I can keep this up ...
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    mihro
    10.07.14
    :-(
    If the men were aware of what happiness they actually reject .....
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    MarryBo
    10.07.14
    I think it's very bad, what you write here ... Where is that baby because? It is clear that we are all around. Since I get a big goose bumps and wish you all a lot of strength for the SS and the possibly coming disputes with the men !!!
    I'm sure you'll all do it, too. And accept help when offered to you, by friends or family !!!
    Feels like you !!!
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    Isabelle26
    11.07.14
    The father of my child blocked me again everywhere.
    Simply from scratch, I do not know why. I was his affair, he has already cheated on his pregnant girlfriend.

    He actually knows how lonely I feel and I already have back pain and also that I'm afraid to get a depression now because I had an eating disorder before the SS and had to sell my medication immediately.

    I do not care how he handles me, he does that to me for the second time. But for me it is painful for the child, it does not interest the child in any way. :(
    Report an error Delete answer

    NinaA1
    11.07.14
    Oh, Je Isabelle, I'm so sorry for you, that you also had such an ass by your side ..
    Did he break up?
    Report an error Delete answer

  • reply - 8: SteffiJoNo
    11.07.14
    @Isabelle: in the same situation I was with the last pregnancy too. I was the affair and got pregnant because of my eating disorder (bulimia and pill just went well for 5 years). However, I knew that as a lover, I have no right to help or support him. Then I told him, when he wanted to see me umbedigt again and he was shocked, but then assured me to support. Of course, he also asked what I wanted to do, so I told him clearly that I would not abort. That was also the last thing I heard from him. I lost the child. Years later I told him who the father is and then forced him to tell his girlfriend about the 5 year affair (she would have heard about the village gossip anyway). That was the only time after and the last time I ever saw him. I still mourn the child, not him. But that took years.
    Good luck with the eating!
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  • reply - 9: Discussions about the future

    Tightrope
    02.07.14
    I just had another discussion with my partner, who obviously cares about what kind of waiting period we take and that he can spend the maximum time with his child. What is there with me as a mother, he does not mention.
    He wants to choose the longest model and had the idea mother stays 1.5 years and father stays 1.5 years at home. Then he came up with the idea that mother takes 9 months, father 18 months, then mother again 9 months.
    I told him that it is my first child and that I am sure that the body needs regeneration as well. In this respect, I would be for 2 years mother and 1 year father Karenz.
    You have to say, we already had this discussion before the child was conceived. At that time I thought that you do not even have to think about it. Maybe it would not have worked anyway. But it worked and I just can not stand his selfishness. He only sees his plan, but he does not notice my objections. He speaks of emancipation of the man and discrimination on his part.
    I am so angry and I feel misunderstood. Of course I can say, well we share as you want. But what if I'm exhausted after 1.5 years. How should I do it?
    What do you think?


    jayjay0413
    02.07.14
    So my friend and I took 7 months parental leave for the 1st child. That worked very well. Why do you find him selfish when he wants to stay home 50% of the time? It's great! I know few families who can afford to stay at home for 3 years, as parental leave is usually over after 1-1.5 years. Dividing up 3 years I feel personally as a luxury problem.
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    jayjay0413
    02.07.14
    Well, ultimately he has to think about how he wants to finance 1.5 years at home. If he can, ok. If not, it will of course be very difficult. The same is true for you and the time you imagine at home. But vllt you can postpone the discussion synonymous something ... First enjoy the first few weeks of the SS, with less emotionality you may vllt find a good solution that you both like and is also financeable?
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    Cinthia2610
    02.07.14
    So I will stay home for 11 months. My husband will take vacation at interception, so we both have time with the dwarf. It was clear to us from the start how we would manage it. I only stay home for 11 months because otherwise the blanket would fall on my head.

    Wire rope ... If I read through your contribution, I agree. Find that of your husband too selfish ... I think a mother needs time to recover. Especially since it will be completely new territory with you. He can also take leave in the early days. It's not that he has nothing from his child then. But since you say that the financial resources are not available to you and you have a very small apartment, so it should be in the interest of your husband, first to strive for these things instead of worrying about parental leave.
    Now enjoy your pregnancy and talk to him in a few weeks about it again, maybe he sees it differently then.

    Best regards :)
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    Satyana
    02.07.14
    So for me and my husband, it was very clear that I will stay home for the first year and while the dwarf will be acclimated to you kita, my husband will then take his 2 months parental leave, while I go back into my job half-days.

    We need to get back to work as soon as possible as soon as the parental allowance goes away. Unfortunately, we can not financially allow myself or my husband to stay at home for three years.

    But I think after a year it's time for me to work. I like to work and I'm happy to "see something different" and I think a daycare does not hurt the little crumb. Socialize it too.

    Well, I'd like to let the topic rest between you and your own, before you get too involved in the topic and it does not lead to much conflict. If some time has passed, one can perhaps address the topic again on another meta-level and find a solution that is satisfactory for everyone.

    Best regards

  • reply - 10: wire rope
    02.07.14
    Thank you for your understanding. Unfortunately, it just thrashes me up so much. That's why I used this forum to let go of my garbage. I think that together we can find a good solution. My partner is basically very free time-loving, works only 30 hours / week, while I'm 40. The child wanted primarily me, he said he would be happy without - but completely agreed. And now that I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I feel like I'm building a nest and he's desperate for freedom / free time.
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    Satyana
    02.07.14
    But there I think is a problem in his way of thinking.

    You write yes, he is very free-time-loving. But would like to spend at the same time 1.5 years with your crumbs.

    Looking after a child is not just free time. He can not just when he wants to party or whatever he understands by free time.

    Is he aware that he then has to take responsibility and not just for an hour or two and then put child back in the closet?

    I have doubts that he is so aware of it, as I understand your writing.
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    Tightrope
    02.07.14
    I do not want to blame him for not being responsible. But in his years of life he actually only had to take care of himself. I hope and trust that he is actually up to the task. Basically, I already believe that he will spend a lot of time traveling with the child. What I do not want to refuse him, as long as it is good for the child.
    According to his ideas, we live very simple. No car, no TV, many free actions. If I want "luxury" I have to pay it myself. It has always been that way. Insofar luxury family - actually no waiting period possible ...
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    Cinthia2610
    02.07.14
    I sincerely hope for you that your partner is ready to take responsibility for the dwarf. After all, a child is nothing that can be parked in the corner, but always wants to be employed. How old are you, if I may ask?

    I think you would do it right time just for you to have time to hide the problems.
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    Tightrope
    02.07.14
    The question is good - we are both in their mid-30s.
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    Cinthia2610
    02.07.14
    I think you should first hide the problems at the beginning of your SS. Concentrate on the pregnancy now. In my first SS I had to be annoyed with such discussions and in retrospect I regretted it, since I hardly focused on the SS. Ultimately, the problems have resolved almost by itself :)

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