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Unemployed vs. fertility



I thought I open this post to simply hear your opinions. I do not want you to advise me, because I know, nobody can. But I would like to hear your thoughts on this subject, as I appreciate your opinions very much.

Short to us: We are together for fat 6 1/2 years, we marry in June. We have a little house where we'll really get started this year to move in as quickly as possible (when that is, but we can not say yet, late this year early next year ?!) Credit is in progress. My friend is 24 and has a good, permanent job. I am 21 and have been working in my learned profession for almost 2 years. For almost 2 years we try to have a baby, but unfortunately it just does not work. I already have a lot of problems (no ES, etc.) and a good ending is not in sight. We really want a baby ... My problem: my employment contract expires in June and from July I would most likely have to look for something new or I would be unemployed. Nevertheless, of course, the desire for children remains the same and now I am very thinking about what would be the right thing for us, our further life and of course for the possible baby ...

I would be very happy if you could tell me (free from the liver, I'm not sensitive ^^) just your view of things, or tell me how you would probably decide ...

Many Thanks,



  • reply - 1: Hi Hedi :)

    Honestly, the starting position would not be that bad.
    You have a house, your husband has an open-ended job and you're probably still living for rent until the house is completely renovated, right?
    Could your husband bear the expenses for a time only with his income?
    If you would get pregnant just when your contract expires.
    Personally, I do not speak against, I myself am also at home and wish for a child, well my husband earns very well and can afford me the luxury of staying at home. :)

    I know how it is when the desire is there and stronger but the chances are lower. : - /
    Keep your fingers crossed that it will work very soon and then everything will work as you imagine. :))

    LG Vanly

  • reply - 2:

    Dear Hedi,

    Schonmal in between my attitude. I know you already a little longer and this thinking fits so 1000% to you ... I can imagine that there are grad modest prospects and clearly the desire to have children is not only lower because of the work situation changes. Whereby - with denati it was like that (?!), Maybe it sees your post and has more helpful answers ...

    I just wanted to "announce" that it would be out of the question for me personally in existing unemployment in question the desire to have children. Get on your socks for another new job and shit on your loyalty to the employer ;-). Mention nothing with family planning in job interviews and lie in doubt when inquiring. Because I also fear that your story may take a while ...

    I wish you so much that it works bals - but hey in doubt with you the time is not running yet. HEAD, that'll be all right!

  • reply - 3:

    Hello Hedi,

    I've been here for a long time in the forum and have followed your story. I would talk to the employer again, as it continues after the time limit. If he does not keep you busy, you need to get in touch with the Employment Agency as soon as possible and then look for something new. The big question is, do you also manage to renovate the house with your baby, pay off loans and without your earnings?

    Almost exactly two years ago I faced a similar problem. I had my first miscarriage behind me, the desire to have children was so much stronger and my boss at that time bullied me a lot. At the time I was looking for a new job, I also started on 01.07.2011 and put my wish for a child on ice for less than a year. After another miscarriage, it has finally worked out again and I'm glad that everything has come as it is.

    All the best


  • reply - 4: Dear Hedi,
    Hm I do not know how to start.
    I think financial worries can have even more negative effects on your desire to have a baby.
    I would also look for a new job. And even if it sounds stupid, the risk to an employer that can make a woman pregnant is omnipresent.
    There can and must take no account of it. And questions about children and family planning may not be asked and you can confidently lie.
    If it leaves your situation, you can also look for a part-time job.
    I do not know the reason for the trouble with you to get pregnant, but maybe you can do more for a part-time job.

    Keep your fingers crossed that your wish will come true soon.

    All the best

  • reply - 5: I always advise my son to build something up first, enjoy life as a couple before you plunge into the adventure children. I was 21, unemployed and pregnant and had a husband who could feed the family. 1 1/2 years later, the situation changed abruptly. I was in the 4th month with the second pregnant and my then had a car accident that should change everything. He was ill for more than a year at home and then unemployed. I did work but did not earn enough to live carefree. Especially since it was not easier with the euro.
  • reply - 6: Hello Heidi
    So I would look in your place for a job and as the others have already said just say nothing about child planning.

    But if it is financially possible that your husband earns alone and you do not fall at home the blanket on the head then sign up unemployed.

    So talk to your work giver and with your friend and then decide that you are still very young you have to wait with kiwu and therefore go rather work.


  • reply - 7:

    Thank you very much for your honest opinions, thoughts and advice!

    I know that it will be very difficult for me to give up my desire and endeavor after almost 2 years or put it on ice. But it will surely be the best ... My boss could not tell me 100% how it will go after the expiration of the contract, but since he is very fair, he told me immediately that I prefer to try something new should.

    I think I'll get in touch with our AA jobseeker soon and make an appointment, which opportunities I have, direction, etc.!

    I fully understand that many of you think, man, you are still so young! Yes, I am too! Nevertheless, I have a very large desire for children and it would eat me up to wait 4 years to go to a KiWuKlinik or so long to prevent and then start again ... It makes me very sad when I think about it, but I am I just think it's reasonable to say that I do not care about anything now, the main thing is to have my child. You just have to think about the future and I do that too, maybe a bit too much ...

    Thank you, especially the women who have entrusted their stories to me and have experienced something similar! Thank you!


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