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No anticipation of possible SS ...



Question:

Hello.
I hope I am not too close. Surely, women are more likely to be pregnant here.
At myman that's the way it is. Not at my place. I always had little relation to (small) children and find them neither sweet nor flows through me something different positive. I do not want to live my life without having children. But the implementation ..?

I wish for thoughts / suggestions.
Maybe there are aliens like me among you? Getting pregnant because it's on the to-do? Despite fear of the consequences?

I am married and in an open-ended contract. We live far away from our family with a wide circle of friends.
I have hypothyroidism and really miserable teeth (genetics cheers).
Last but not least, I work in an environment where I meet a lot of children who have had a lot of problems at home from an early age. Maybe that also shapes ...

Can I try to get pregnant if, as a woman, you are not totally into children / babies?

Reply:

  • reply - 1: Do you really want a baby? Or just because it is socially so? One thing is clear. Children who are brought up by mothers do not love them so they can not start life that much. My husband was unlucky enough to be such a kid. His mother got him because that's how it is done. He grew up very loveless. Is still today often the opinion of being worth ect. I knew with 15 that I want children. 2 or 3. At 21, I met my husband, 22 married, 24 our son, now 29, I'm pregnant with our 2 miracle. I love children and also work with children. My best friend is the opposite. For her there is only the work and her pleasure she says if she never gets children that's ok and not bad. It is important that you find out what you really want for the sake of man only to put children in the world is not the true
  • reply - 2: I have to confess that I have also considered for a long time whether I want a baby right now. That I "generally want to become a mother", was clear to me since my own childhood.
    So I have watched others for a few years, other parents & children.

    And then at some point was this feeling: "Yes, I want all this and immediately!" there.
    That was when my cousin got a baby. An incredibly uncomplicated, happy kid who laughed & smiled all day long at 6 months of age.
    However, we did not start hibbling until three years later, which I very much regret. At the time I thought that everything had to be perfect when working.

    I do not find it wrong at all to be aware of what you want.

    By the way, I still do not stand on indiscriminately EVERY baby. Many toddlers get on my nerves. Many adults, too! ;-)
    I do not think you have to find every child in the world great to become a mother.

    In my opinion, one does not have to mutate into a "mother animal" and give up everything for his children. Many mothers actually have no life of their own anymore - and have chosen that for themselves!
    I believe that you still remain one yourself and also discover this new facet in itself. Aaaber I do not speak yet unfortunately from my own experience!

    My tip for you: Go back in and talk to your husband about how he imagines parenting. Whether you have similar ideas.
    A friend of mine would like to have no children only because she does not want to leave the job (for a short time). But she does not talk to her friend about the topic.
    For me, for example, it is important that my friend takes care of the children just as much as I do and that I am relieved, at least on the weekends and evenings.

    Incidentally, my friend also grew up in a broken family; his father is totally unloving and left his mother after three years of secret affair.
    He is very loving and attentive.

    A loveless childhood can also lead to someone wanting to do it better themselves.
    Maybe this is your husband's way? Maybe he wants to give his child the love that he never got even as a child? Ask him why he wants children and how he imagines himself as a father.

    I find your thoughts absolutely understandable.

    Are you currently still preventing and how old are you?
    How long has your relationship been?

  • reply - 3: In order to have a baby you have to be ready for it ... it's not about us getting older, about the job, about the past or about the flat. It's completely brainless from the inside. This is really something you have to feel. there are people who always know it (that's me) .in some it comes later.some do not want to dare and dare (such was my husband, at least the third child, the little one has crept in and my husband is very fond in him and then there are people who do not want to. And suddenly because the partner fits so perfectly as a father / mother. And the feeling is suddenly there. Because everything is right. To get a baby to make a tick in the To do list of life is most likely wrong (it could possibly be the right one and the fulfillment of your life, but it could just be the wrong one and make you and your child cross unhappy). it is hard to give advice there. you feel it If you are still young then wait. If you are already older then try again to make sure if and why you want a baby (because it could be that you regret it forever no child to have )
  • reply - 4: Is it the case with you that your husband is the driving force behind the desire to have children? Can and does he want to wait until you have become clearer about it? If you're under 30, you can ask for a year or two to 'think' (sounds funny now, but that would give you time to really deal with the idea of ​​becoming a mother)
    Would your husband possibly be happy with you even without a child? Or would a childless marriage be completely unimaginable for him?
    I know the thought 'wanting a child, but are afraid of implementation' too. It's nice to call a family your own, I imagine - and later to have grandchildren too. But who finds himself waking up nights, writing babies, conflicts with the partner (because the child always comes first) and not being able to spontaneously take a single step and plan to be really great? Well, I can not really have a say, I'm not a mother. Sorry that too, on the other hand, I see again the benefits of my freedom. The decision to become a mother has been taken involuntarily ...
    I would only advise you to be fully aware of this before you turn 35, at the latest. Because not always it works with the pregnant, you can actually belong to the unfortunate ones need medical help. And by the time you're 40, it's usually too late for you to get this medical support!
  • reply - 5: My mother told me that before she was born, she could not do anything with children at all and was also doubtful if she would ever be a good mother. But she was expected by her and so she got pregnant with me during the honeymoon. Today she says that my younger sister and I are the most important in her life and that she has never regretted it, on the contrary.
    From my perspective, all I can say is that I have always felt totally loved and that I and my mother still have a close bond today.
    I myself would like to experience this bond with my children, but my sister has consciously decided against it. And that's okay too! I think if you find your fulfillment in the work, the partner and the circle of friends, that can be quite enough. For me, however, the family is the most important thing and I can not and do not want to imagine living without children.

  • reply - 6: With us it was similar to my previous speaker. My mum actually did not want any children, but at age 37 she became pregnant with me despite the pill. My father, who would have liked to have children anyway, was very happy and allegedly very fast. I grew up very affectionate and protected. Still, my mum says today that it was good, how it came, but she would certainly have been happy without a child.

    I never really had a wish for a child. Nevertheless, I did not want to be without children at some point like you. That sounds very hard. But behind it is definitely not "because you do it that way", but because I imagine that you are very much regretting when the train is biologically worn. So I pushed it out for a relatively long time, but surprisingly I got pregnant immediately and now I have 40 2 children - 5 and 2 and even if I'm not the type parademama without any other life content, I'm very happy to have both of them , I'm really often annoyed and sometimes wonder if that's because I just never had the mega desire for children. On the other hand, one hears that from many, even from those who really was a heartfelt concern. Although it is often exhausting - I would never seriously want to exchange for a life without children. I am glad that everything has come this way.

    Nevertheless, I continue to find a fulfilling life without children imaginable.
    How old are you? Maybe you can spend some time to be more secure / aware of your cause?

  • reply - 7: no, being annoyed with that has nothing to do with how much you wanted children. all parents are annoyed by the kids. that's part of it 

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