At the moment I really have a phase where I could only cry. I have not been forgiven in the 27th week of pregnancy for 2 days. I'm still pretty young only 18, but I'm finished with the school.
I just need someone to talk to.
So volgenes problem.
My ex boyfriend is very complicated and often thinks differently than me.
The relationship was over at the beginning of the pregnancy.
- He often insulted me in the fight.
- I was not allowed to do anything with boys anymore.
- I was only allowed to hang out with people whom he thought was nice.
- No Facebook.
- No makeup.
- No leggings.
I got along with it for a while - but it was too much for me.
Goods were separated 3 months.
Now it does not change.
He insulted me and then I completely flipped out until it ended with a "I'll finish".
partly I'm happy, other wise I'm pretty sad.
I want him back. Today he said "who knows if I'm the father".
It makes me so sad, he is the father.
I love him so much.
On one side I want him again because I want to do everything with him.
On the other hand, I can not handle his style anymore.
a few days ago he said he had to say "No wonder the Turks do not take Germans".
He said that because I do not want to be banned.
I'm terribly sad - I want baby to have his father.
- reply - 1: You can do it alone. It has a father, nobody can take it. But for that you do not have to be with him and treat you like that. Let him take a test if he has doubts, but then damn well take care and stand by his responsibility.
You do not hang your head and wait for someone who truly loves you truly. Because everyone deserved it.
- reply - 2: I'm just afraid that I can not do it alone, I always wanted my own perfect family.But now the father is missing. It's so hard for me not to report to him.
- reply - 3: I can understand you! But please think of you and your child!
It might sound silly to you now, but what kind of role model do you want to be for your child? What kind of role model should your ex be? What kind of family should that be?
A father who oppresses the mother? A mother who kisses in front of her father and puts up with everything so that she can play "a healthy family"?
Or do you want to be the strong, independent mother for your child, who nevertheless loves her child and does everything imaginable for it?
- reply - 4: What is perfect about a family where the father offends the mother? Where you can not "reasonably" argue with each other. Where the man simply can not muster respect for his wife? A respectful togetherness is the alpha and o of a stable relationship, love is far from enough. What should these childish "prohibit"? Do you still need education, or are you an adult woman who can differentiate between personality rights and compromises that require every relationship?
From my own experience with my parents, I can tell you that a father is not half as important to a child as a harmonious, stable, loving environment. You do not have them now, and when the baby is here, certainly not. You have to be a TEAM BEFORE! Are you? ... I do not think so. Please do not do this relationship to your baby.
- reply - 5: If you want you can write to me, I can listen to you and give you my opinion. Because I have a similar situation. Am 17, my little one is coming on 12.3. Since I'm already 18 and I'm not together with the child's father, shortly after we have learned that I'm pregnant, I'm separated because I've learned love is not enough if you are treated like a possession and just lied. This not only harms one's self but also the child, whether born or not. So if you want you can write :)
- reply - 6: Hello!
I can understand you well. When I was 16 I also had such a friend. He gave me exactly such instructions (he was German). I was very much in love and did not want to have that. But the best part was when I broke up. I suffered a lot, but it was the right decision.
Thank God we did not have a child, but nevertheless it was hard for me to get rid of him. That's why I can understand you well, that puts twice the burden on you.
It's just a good piece of advice from my experience. Stay away from him. Such a guy just breaks you. I know it myself. Even if it is very difficult, hold on!
How is your family to you? Do you get from those support so you do not have to go through there alone?
All the best!
- reply - 7: Hello, I feel good about how you feel. I already have a daughter of 4 when she was 14 months old and separated from her father because he was an alcoholic. I met a new man, 2 months ago I separated from him because he has gone to me several times. 2 weeks ago I found out that I am pregnant in the 10th week. I never wanted to raise a child without a family again. But sometimes it just does not change. Take care of you and your baby. You do not deserve to be treated like this! And do not let it tell you that you are worth nothing. You sure have a family behind you. Greetings Christin. P.S. we can exchange numbers if you want to talk or write.
- reply - 8: head up :)
I had something similar.
Stay away from him and prepare for the child. Beat him out of your head. As he behaves he is still very immature. Trust is a serious relationship and he loves you the way you are. If you are not feeling well, your child is not feeling well then remember that you now have to take care of your baby. And then he's the producer of your baby and not the father. He is a father only when he behaves accordingly and accepts the child. Just do not mind waiting for you big responsibility. Get rid of any stress because the most important thing is that you and your baby are fine :)
PS: I am 18, pregnant and the producer is a Turk. What your ex says is not true.
- reply - 9: Hey ... get up first and judge the crown ;-)
Of course, you can do it without a man ... For financial questions, get help from ProFamilia or ask the Youth Welfare Office for help.
Then it is important that you build an environment that you can rely on ... friends and family who would support you from time to time in everyday life.
Whether you can be a good mom to your child is entirely up to you. If you know what you want, do not let it stop you and go your way. Such a man who suppresses you and you do not need to constrict. He should be there for you and support you! I was alone with my son (10) for 6 years ... that was not always easy ... but eventually everything will be fine ... I can promise you that! I am the proof ... I remarried this year and am in the 27th week of pregnancy.
Do not let it get you!
- reply - 10: How old is he?